MOVING DAY

I have moved this blog. Please come and visit my new edition at bobturnerblog.wordpress.com

Sign of the Times

Often, Fridays are used to post stupid pictures that I come across. Today, since I just returned from the Buckeye State, it seemed right to talk about the state seal. One would probably expect the seal to read, "The Great State of Ohio." But it doesn't. Playing it safe, the seal simply pronounces itself to be great and makes no claims regarding the quality of Ohio.

A similar way of saying would be this: Ohio: A Decent State with a Great Seal.

9 Things: Vacation 2008 Edition

We are back in Memphis, the place we call home. It was nice to be in our own bed last night. And it was also nice to relearn the morning routine. Vacation 08 was a very pleasant time. Andrea and I decided that we enjoyed our trip so much that we might vacation more often than every 4 years. If I had to list highlights it might look something like this:

1. The morning trek into DC on the bike was something I will not soon forget. It was smooth and peaceful, while also brisk and intense.
2. Olde Town Alexandria. I hear that property values in this district are sky high. This makes sense since it is the closest thing to heaven.
3. We were able to attend the wedding of some friends while in Ohio (the sister of blog reader, Steve H).
4. Eating an entire pizza and three of those mini-burgers in DC. Hey, I'm a growing boy.
5. Soak City in Sandusky. Andrea had been to Cedar Point, but never to the adjacent water park. This was a wonderful way to ensure that our bodies had the pink look that people expect to see from vacationers.
6. The Diet Coke in Huron. Because Soak City charges outlandish prices for beverages, we held out and waited until 6PM to get a swig at the McDonalds on the way home. It's the little things that matter.
7. Driving through East Tennessee and Western Virginia (not West Virginia) on a Saturday. NPR is loaded from 9-7: Car Talk, Whadda You Know?, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and Prairie Home Companion. Plus you get the great scenery. It makes you forget about the horrible gas mileage caused by the hills.
8. Most of all, it was a great chance to get together with family and spend a few days away from the grind.
9. All that said, I seriously need to get some barbecue. Pronto.

Little Shop of Horrors

Yesterday I had lunch with Andrea, dad, and mom in Ohio City before swinging next door to a used book store. We discovered upon entry that the store was going out of business. The store was an absolute mess, essentially a pile of books, dust jackets, empty shelves, and cat litter. But being a sucker for a cheap book, I proceeded to dig through the destruction. I found a number of wooden crates that were full of theology books. There wasn't too much that would interest anyone who doesn't oversee an academic library or a campfire.

I found a copy of Robert Kysar's, Maverick Gospel tucked next to an old issue of Theology Today and thought that 90% off was too good to resist. So I began to restack the old wooden crates that I had sorted through when a nail that protruded from the crate's right side sliced into my hand.

I did my best not to make any noise or show emotion, fearing that the grouchy proprietor would dismiss me from his store if he knew that I was bleeding all over the inventory. So I whispered to mom and told her what happened. The only remedy we had was lotion from Andrea's purse. The cut did not get any better, but cucumber-melon was the best thing to happen to this musty shop since Gutenberg. Afraid that I needed more, mom went back to our lunch spot to see if they could help. Our waitress insisted that I come over so that she could attend to me. She bandaged me up and sent me away.

Serving me a falafel sandwich for lunch and following it up with medical care is more than I could ask from this particular deli. Meanwhile next door, the shop owner remained oblivious to my misery. When I returned to the bookstore to settle my debts, he informed me that the books in the wooden crates had already been sold. I wondered if he had a vendetta against his prospective buyer.

The moral of this story is two-fold: Always ask before you go rummaging through a clearance sale. And, more importantly, be sure to encourage your favorite librarian to keep current with their tetanus shots.

Batman Review

Just saw new Batman movie. Here are some thoughts:

• One large popcorn and two medium drinks. How much should this cost? Dad and I made predictions. I said $9. He said I was naive and staked his claim on $12. Andrea interjected and sensed that we both were too low and suggested $14. Mom turned around from the counter after having just paid and had the final say, $15.50.
• Morgan Freeman has appeared in roughly one-half of the movies ever filmed in America.
• Commisioner Gordon's stache was classic. I put it in the Gene Shalit category of face fur.
• Heath Ledger. Whoa. Great stuff. Sad he's gone. Not better than Jack. Just different. The main difference between the two is that Heath was acting, Jack was not. Nothing nearly as quotable, like "This town needs an enima!"
  

Vacation Pictures

Here are a few images from our most recent swing across the Mid-Atlantic states. It was a great trip. Enjoy

Virginia Beach. The sun was out on this particular day.
The barrels are full of saltwater taffy. The store invites you to take free samples as you walk around. How come gas stations don't have such offers?
Home sweet home. Okay, residence sweet residence.
This is Central, the toned-down restaurant of Michel Richard. We did not eat here, but did get a chance to salivate over the menu.
The house in the back kind of distracts from our picture of this beautiful tent.
This guy was really hard core. He was wrong. But nonetheless very hard core.

DC is for Stealers

Today we began the day by cycling downtown to check out some of the more noteworthy sites: Capitol Hill, the White House, and the Holocaust Museum. Three observations:

1. Capitol Hill as actually a hill. Cyclists notice this very quickly.
2. The White House south lawn was being set up for a tee ball game. Invitees included ESPN's Tim Kurkjian.
3. Washington was wise to facilitate the building of the Holocaust Museum. It's scope is so much different than its more generalist neighboring museums (natural history, air and space, and art), but certainly the subject matter justifies it.

We have been doing this trip on a budget, so we have been certain to eat breakfast in the hotel room, lunch via picnics, and dinner at restaurants. So we are only paying once per day. This day was different, however. We left our lunches with our bikes while we went on a tour of the Capitol Building. When we came back we were greeted to an empty lunch bag hanging from the handlebars. Those thieves. So we were out a few sandwiches, a bag of crackers, and two Diet Cokes. Thankfully, they left the bikes. Perhaps the deviants' conversation resembled that of the Godfather, "Leave the bike, take the sandwiches."

So much for our budget. Speaking of saving money, we spent the evening at the timeshare presentation we agreed to attend in exchange for 3 nights in our hotel.

We came. They pitched. We conquered.

They really didn't have a chance with us. This was our first vacation in 4 years, the last was our honeymoon, and we recently stayed at a hotel for $36, thereby showing that we are not above sleeping with bed-bugs. Further, I don't think timeshare peddlers have any hope of enticing an Anthony Bourdain devotee. In the general session they asked where people are wanting to vacation. If you listen, you can hear the responses, "Hawaii." "Cancun!" "Orlando." The Bourdainers then holler, "Ghana!!"